Wish and Wonder.

My sister earlier said to me

caitlinkeating:

” I wish I could think more like you,” in reference to relationships with friends, boys, family, etc. .

I told her how sometimes I act emotionless, realistic, and simply not interested because of my desire to not get hurt when I know if I let myself completely go I would inevitably be hurt,exposed, and well, human.

My sister Emily opens up her heart to everyone, sees the best in people she has known for 5 minutes or 5 years, and will continue to see her boyfriend on Marthas Vineyard until she is literally walking on the boat back to the main land, thinking only for the first time in that moment that she is headed home,leaving the island, him, and their flawless romantic summer filled with sunny days, lobster, and not one care in the world.

I on the other hand think of the present just as much as I think of the future and the past. I can get in cars and onto boats, leaving behind paradise and all of the people i care about knowing that timing can suck, relationships might not work out, but there is always a next summer, next weekend, nextvyear, and more chances. I keep my heart wide open but in close reach, my thoughts in the air but filtered before I speak them. Timing is everything. It really is. Right not something might not work but one day,the one day I tell my sister is what can get you through the present and looking into the future of possibilites.

I am in my way home now with Patch sleeping on my lap, and a long drive ahead. Will write a long update tomorrow :)